Coach4aday blog posts are written by John Rancke and me. We write daily about leadership, food, people, music, our granddaughters, Lumberton NC, and things that pique our curiosity.
If you want to follow the blog via email go to the bottom right of the post and click the follow button.
My twitter handle is @coach4aday2 if you want to follow the blog that way.
John’s twitter handle is @johnrancke if you want to reach out to him.
Holidays and Emotional Pain
On a lot of levels this holiday season is different for me. I know too many people who are dealing with emotional pain. That takes the joy out of this time of year for many people.
The holidays are not easy for everyone especially those that are dealing with that type of pain. Two primary causes of emotional pain are dealing with loss of someone close or dealing with the life someone has planned and feeling like it hasn’t worked out.
For those experiencing emotional pain they wonder if they can ever recover when they feel crushed by life. We may not see it but they are literally experiencing heartache every time their heart beats.
So what can we do to help?
First is to realize that going thru the pain can’t be fast tracked. It has to be accepted as real and then embraced before the next steps can occur. Call it grieving but it has to take place. You have to go thru the process. If a friend or family member understands that time and patience have to be served up with their support and concern then they are helping.
Being alone is part of the process but long periods of isolation are not good. Being a friend or family member that is positive and supportive with balancing some alone time is important. Long times alone become unhealthy because it breeds guilt, bitterness, and low self esteem. To recover those have to be minimized.
Another method is to allow them to escape but not thru self medication or alcohol. Helping them if even for a short period of time to escape the pain can be meaningful. Watching a movie, taking a walk, reading, listening to music. Getting them to chose a task that helps them escape the reality of pain is good. It will fortify them for their battle.
Fourth can you can them to reflect and learn from the cause of the pain. Having them self reflect without guilt or blame is very important.
Finally help them move on but again it will be a process that involves time and patience.
There are lots of gifts we can give and receive but for those experiencing emotional pain the gift of support and empathy from friends and family is priceless.