Coach4aday is a daily blog that began in 2014. The posts are mostly shared ideas to help people grow and learn. You can follow the blog with one of the like buttons found on top left of Coach4aday website
In 2020 some Coach4aday posts will feature lessons learned by completing, planning, and experiencing 30 day challenges. The challenges include physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional.
She touches on many subjects but one that I really learned a lot about was SHAME.
The book forces the reader to explore the true reasons for life’s most painful, uncomfortable, and darkest moments. The book touches on vulnerability, anger, disappointment, guilt, being heartbroken, and SHAME. It talks about the courage to deal with all of it.
SHAME is not the same as guilt. Brene does a great job of providing an example of the difference between the two. Here is a quote from page 194 of the book.
“There’s a huge difference between I screwed up (guilt) and I am a screwup (shame). The former is acceptance of our imperfect humanity. The latter basically an indictment of our very existence. “
She also says something I never thought of before on page 195.
“……. shame can’t survive being spoken.”
I really believe that is true. When we share what is causing us to feel SHAME with someone it no longer is our secret. SHAME needs isolation and secrecy to survive and strengthen. When we share our SHAME with a friend, loved one, or a professional counselor and they respond to us with empathy the SHAME dies.
Last Friday part of my morning devotional reading brought spiritual clarity to the importance of sharing SHAME with someone else.
It was Ecclesiastes 4: 9-10
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.
If you are dealing with SHAME have the courage to tell someone. SHAME can’t survive being spoken.